Refugee deported to labour camp

Many Chinese Koreans have relatives in North Korea. Sometimes when North Koreans escape their country, they manage to reach their 'Chinese' families.

Eun-sook* was surprised to find her cousin Mi-young* on her doorstep one day. It was the start of a spiritual journey together, which ended tragically. "I feel so guilty. I can physically feel the pain, the cold and the darkness of the camp where Mi-young is now."

Open Doors has met with Eun-sook quite a few times. A fire burns in this thin, aged and fragile looking woman - a fire for Jesus. Her faith always appeared to be unshakable. Even when she saw so little progress in Mi-young's walk with God, Eun-sook kept inviting her to her home. She listened to Mi-young's tragic story. She prayed with her. She opened the Word of God. Now, Eun-sook's faith seems to have taken a blow. She struggles with questions like 'why?' and 'what could I have done to prevent this from happening?' Perhaps she even asks God why He didn't intervene when the police came.

Not without her daughter

Like many North Korean women, Mi-young fled from her country because of the severe famine. She left her teenage daughter behind in the hope that one day she would be able to follow. Mi-young dreamed of South Korea. "Mi-young had several opportunities to go to South Korea after she arrived in China but she didn't want to go without her daughter," says Eun-sook.

When Eun-sook met her cousin, Mi-young was already married to a Chinese man and had had two more children. "Mi-young didn't love her husband. Marriage is the best way of hiding for any North Korean woman in China. She didn't love her children either. How could she? She was forcibly separated from her daughter, forcibly married and got pregnant involuntarily. She felt really bad that she couldn't love her children like a mother was supposed to. She was simply unable to.

"The Bible was poison"

"Mi-young's Chinese husband was very poor. So she just came to my house for financial support," says Eun-sook. "I hear that's true for a lot of North Korean refugees and it's certainly my experience: you cannot trust them. A North Korean has never learned to love or to accept love. We know about giving and receiving. But the North Korean society holds a different principle: survival of the fittest. Mi-young 'knows' that you cannot trust anyone but yourself.

"She went to great lengths to get financial support, but really didn't open up more than she felt she had to, to get the money. Of course she lied too. I didn't judge her for that. In her world there were no trustworthy, loving people. Christians were enemies. The Bible was poison."

Mi-young kept visiting and Eun-sook read the Bible to her and prayed with her. Mi-young had many questions, which Eun-sook tried to answer. However, it was the arm around her shoulders – the lived out faith of Eun-sook – that really changed Mi-young. Slowly, her faith grew. "When Mi-young realised how Jesus had always watched over her it meant the world to her. Her gods, the leaders of North Korea, abused her. But the supreme God of the universe loved her. The most beautiful thing was that she finally learned to love her Chinese husband and children too."

One of her children died at a young age. He was playing with a friend near the river and was accidentally pushed in. The friend was afraid to tell anyone what had happened. When Mi-young's son didn't return home, everyone in the neighbourhood searched till late in the evening until finally his lifeless body was found.

Mi-young still visited Eun-sook. They talked about farming, children and 'women's stuff'. They even shared prayer points with each other. One day, Mi-young brought some food for Eun-sook. "That's an amazing gift from a North Korean", Eun-sook observes. "Her life remained difficult too. Some people tried to convince her to go to South Korea. She refused. She really didn't want to go without her daughter, who was now almost old enough to try to escape. Then that frightful day came..."

Send me in their place

Mi-young was at Eun-sook's home for fellowship and Bible study. Once she was inside, the police raided the house. "I screamed that Mi-young was innocent, that they should take me along, but they refused to let her go. They took us to the police station and we were separated. The next two days I was interrogated."

Eun-sook was pressured to give more information about other refugees. "Do you know what we will do with this North Korea woman you took care of?"

Eun-sook nodded her head. "You will send her back to North Korea."

"And do you know what they will do her in her own country?"

"They will execute her."

"You'd better give us more information."

Eun-sook cried. "Please don't send her back. Send me! Let them kill me! Mi-young has children, a family! Please, let her go."

Instead Eun-sook was released. "One officer came up to me and said that he felt sorry for Mi-young, but that he didn't have a choice. After all, his family needed bread on the table too. So he did his duty and handed Mi-young over to the North Korean authorities. As far as I know, she was not executed, but sentenced to a few years in a labour camp."

Eun-sook sighs. She carries a heavy burden - guilt. "I have to think about Mi-young and her family in China and in North Korea all the time. Whenever I hear children laughing in the street, I see the faces of Mi-young's children. How can they go on? If it wasn't for me, they still might have had a mother. Sometimes, when I am alone, I can physically feel what Mi-young is feeling. I feel like I am lying on a cold concrete floor in a dark place. I am hungry and afraid."

Psalm 23

One time she couldn't bear the thought of Mi-young in the camp anymore. Right then she had to think about those famous words from Psalm 23:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

"It was like God was asking me questions. He asked: 'Who am I?' I answered: 'You are Abba, Father.' 'And who am I to Mi-young?'
'You are her Father too.'
'Yes, I am her Father and I love her.'

"I was so comforted. And God continued to confirm how much He loves Mi-young. Over and over I was confronted with Psalm 23, which reminds me about His love for Mi-young and for me."

'She had such dreams'

Eun-sook falls silent for a moment. "I just pray that she will hold on to her faith. I am not convinced of that. I know that God is loyal, but Mi-young is still such a young believer. She had such dreams - dreams of being reunited with her daughter, sharing the gospel with her and moving to a safe country. Now each day she wakes up in place that is truly hell on earth... It troubles me."

Eun-sook is finished talking. All there is left to do is to pray for her, Mi-young and her family, and for all other North Koreans in similar situations. After the prayer, standing up to leave, Eun-sook says: "I think I just have to accept that Mi-young may be in the valley of the shadow of death, but that God is right there with her. He is with all of us, wherever we are."

*Pseudonym