“I know whose hand is holding mine” – Lu Mei’s story

Across the tranquil fields and cerulean skies of northwestern China, a silent battle ensues. For believers like Lu Mei*, each day brings the renewed struggle to hold on to faith in Jesus.

It began ten years ago when Lu Mei’s* church was suddenly sprung upon by police. As leader of the church, she was immediately arrested, interrogated and detained. The days in detention stretched on without any word as to when she might be freed – rumour had it that after 30 days in detention, a prison sentence would come next.

At last, after 28 days, she returned to her husband and two children, desperate to see their faces.

But that was only the beginning of Lu Mei’s battle.

Watched

Lu Mei became a Christian as a teenager living in central China. As she grew, she undertook theological training. After marrying her husband, they moved to the northwest to serve there together.

Newly-wed and eager to share their faith, what they didn’t expect was their home to become the regular site of police visits.

Two years after her release from detention, police began to make frequent intrusions into their home without documentation or notice. Unable to turn them away, Lu Mei had to succumb to their questioning. Such incessant monitoring began to drive her husband into depression. Her children were growing up with a fear of knocks at the door, confused and restless.

At that time, the police took Lu Mei into custody twice. Nothing could link her to Christian activity as she was a full-time housewife, but their objective was clear: scare Lu Mei and her husband into abandoning their faith in Jesus.

Then, Lu Mei discovered she had been blacklisted.

Erased

When someone is blacklisted in China, it means that different freedoms are taken from them. For Lu Mei, her ability to book travel, gain employment or use her finances became severely restricted. In her area, police would conduct identity checks repeatedly, meaning that wherever she went, they knew.

Even in the streets she would be stopped and interrogated on the spot under the watching eyes of the crowds. Exposed to endless scrutiny, and yet, made to disappear.

“It’s strange,” Lu Mei says, reflecting, “how you can still be here, breathing, and yet feel like you’ve already been erased. I couldn’t go out to earn money, and my family was struggling financially. The phone was monitored, making it difficult to communicate freely with other church members.

“As the leader of the church, I dared not show my weakness, for fear that my weakness would make others fall. I felt isolated and unbearably lonely.”

However, when asked if she ever considered giving up her faith, she shook her head without the slightest hesitation. Whilst the authorities were trying to erase her trust in Jesus, He was sustaining Lu Mei and her family each day.

Emboldened

Eventually, Lu Mei’s name was taken off the blacklist. But once free, she had no thought of escaping the oppression of her country, choosing to continue the ministry entrusted to her.

Lu Mei had the opportunity to attend persecution survival training offered by Open Doors in a different part of China. It was the first time in years that she had been away from home. The feeling of joy and renewed hope was overwhelming as she reunited with old theology classmates and made new friendships with other believers.

“I don’t know what the path of tomorrow will look like,” she admits. “I live each day for the Lord. There are many things about the future that I cannot understand now, but I know who holds tomorrow, and I know whose hand is holding mine.”

What the world sought to erase, God made shine more brightly than ever in the resilient faith of Lu Mei.

*Name changed for security reasons